Part: Chapter Three: Medication
Previous Parts: Prologue, Chapter One, Chapter Two
Pairing: Eunhyuk/Donghae, some Yesung/Ryeowook, Henry/Ryeowook.
Rating: PG-13 (sensuality)
Word Count: 4,286
Synopsis: Donghae returns from China and comes to realize his true feelings towards Eunhyuk in a relationship that transcends friendship.
Next Update: Saturday, July 4th (barring no extreme writer's block. You know the deal.)
Heyyy guys. This actually isn't aidenrose. It's tvxqsocks. She asked me to post this for her since she is stuck in an airport (booooooo). So um, here is chapter three, on time as promised. So you all better shower her with love and hugs and stuff. Cause she works hard on this. Seriously. I mean, she went through pains to give me her password to post this. LOVE HER! Okay. That is all. ENJOY CHAPTER THREE, YO!
Well hi guys, it's aidenrose again. XD I'm back from a week long and virtually computerless vacation. 'N I must just say, credit goes to tvxqsocks for listening to my ideas, reading my drafts, giving me her honest opinion and feedback, and generally just giving me moral support when I needed it. And then she wrote that epic note above. XD
The sun shone clearly through the windows, illuminating everything with a sparkling, brilliant light. Donghae blinked in the sun, looking out the window of the dorm’s living room on the streets below. People on bicycles went back and forth, amongst cars and pedestrian traffic, in the ordinary hustle and bustle of daily life.
A familiar pair of hands wrapped around his middle, and someone pressed their head against his back.
“My head hurts...” Eunhyuk said into Donghae’s shoulder.
Donghae turned around and gathered Eunhyuk into his arms. Eunhyuk leaned into him, his arms weakly holding onto him, as if he barely had any strength left in him.
“I don’t know...” Eunhyuk moaned. “It hurts.”
Eunhyuk’s shoulders shook and Donghae felt hot tears seep through his shirt.
“Take some pain killers,” he said, holding Eunhyuk up. “They’re in the bathroom cabinet.”
Eunhyuk nodded and stumbled into the bathroom, leaning on the couch and other furniture as he went. Donghae looked outside again. The sun was so bright that it blinded him, as if he were looking at the sunlight reflected off of the ocean. It was beautiful, yet painful. Maybe that was how Eunhyuk’s head felt.
He heard the artificial clink of plastic being dropped in the bathroom and the scattering of small, hard objects, followed by a louder thump. Donghae heard a rattling gasp and in an instant he was in the bathroom. Eunhyuk lay doubled over on the ground, pills all around him, gasping for breath.
“Hyukjae!” he cried, aghast, diving onto the floor and grasping Eunhyuk’s arm. “What’s wrong?!”
He looked at the pills on the ground and saw a white prescription bottle. He feverishly picked it up and looked at the label. His heart stopped; fentanyl. Why? Why was this here? There shouldn’t be something this strong here. It was empty. It was a large bottle and there weren’t that many pills on the floor...he’d have to have taken at least twenty.
“Why did you take so many?!” Donghae screamed, tears pouring out of his eyes.
Eunhyuk dry retched, holding his throat, his face contorted with pain. He gasped for breath, but found it more difficult with every breath. A few drops of blood hit the white tiles of the floor, creating a sickening contrast.
“No!” Donghae sobbed, “No, no, no!”
There was nothing he could do. If he called for help, they wouldn’t come in time. His organs wouldn’t work. He couldn’t help him. He sobbed and hugged Eunhyuk as tightly as he could.
“What did you do?!” he cried, his chest heaving with sobs. “Why?”
Eunhyuk gripped Donghae’s arm weakly. Donghae felt as if every cell in his body was screaming with grief as Eunhyuk breathed shallower and shallower. If only I hadn’t...if only I had….guilt filled him up until he felt like dying.
A horrible, gasping, retching noise came from Eunhyuk as his body struggled to breath its last. Eunhyuk’s body seized up and then fell limp in his arms. Donghae froze, his body too shocked and his mind too horrified to do anything.
Donghae shook him. “Wake up! You can’t…you…” he whispered, tears streaming down his face.
He screamed. A piercing scream that rebounded off of the walls and rang in his head. Blood ran out of Eunhyuk’s mouth in a thin trickle, mingling with Donghae’s tears on the floor.
Donghae woke up in a cold sweat, gasping for breath. His heart pounded in his ears. Hyukjae. He sat up, his eyes wide, and it struck him where he was.
It was just a dream. He forced himself to take a few deep breaths and realized that he was crying. Roughly he wiped his tears with the back of his hand. Hyukjae.
He wanted to see him. He had to see him. It was a dream, but he had to see him. He had to make sure…
He got out of bed and sneaked out of his room, being quiet enough that he wouldn’t wake anyone. They had a key to the downstairs dorm near the door. His fingers easily found it and he left with it, padding quickly down the stairs.
He held the key up to the lock, his hands shaking so much that it was difficult to unlock it. But he managed it. He swung the door open and locked it behind him. He knew where to go. Quickly and quietly he walked to Eunhyuk’s room and silently went inside.
It was dark in Eunhyuk’s room, but he could see well enough that he wouldn’t trip over anything. He set the key down on Eunhyuk’s dresser and walked over to his bed.
Sure enough, Eunhyuk was sleeping peacefully. Donghae stood there for a few minutes, tears running down his cheeks, listening to the sound of Eunhyuk breathing. He shakily stepped forward and peeled back a corner of the blankets.
Without thinking he slid in beside him and hugged him, pressing his face into Eunhyuk’s back. His heart calmed as he felt Eunhyuk’s chest rise and fall with every breath and the warmth of his body.
He closed his eyes, unable to stop the flow of tears. Eunhyuk stirred but did not wake. Donghae moved his hand to rest over Eunhyuk’s heart; it beat evenly and surely. He was alive. Alive.
Uncontrollably he sobbed with relief and then tried to flee quickly, panic filling his mind. He didn’t want Eunhyuk to wake up. But before he could make it out of Eunhyuk’s bed, Eunhyuk woke up and grabbed Donghae’s wrist.
“Hyukjae...” he whispered, gulping down his tears. Eunhyuk gently pulled him back.
“Are you crying?” he asked in a concerned voice. “Why are you crying?”
Donghae hid his face in his hands and failed to suppress another sob. “I had...I had a...a nightmare,” he choked.
There was a small pause in which Donghae blushed hotly, embarrassed over waking him up over such a thing as a nightmare. But Eunhyuk pried Donghae’s hands from his face and wiped his tears away, just as he had done a night before in Donghae’s room.
Donghae hiccoughed, shutting his eyes tightly and trying to control his tears. Eunhyuk moved closer to him and kissed his eyelid, causing Donghae to flinch.
Eunhyuk slid an arm beneath Donghae’s neck and cradled his head, hugging him with his other arm. Donghae instinctively hugged Eunhyuk’s waist, forgetting his embarrassment and allowing himself to cry into the hollow between Eunhyuk’s neck and shoulder. Eunhyuk stroked his hair, blinking slowly in the dark.
“You died,” he whispered. His heart hurt just to say it. Eunhyuk laughed softly.
“It’s not funny,” Donghae moaned.
“No,” Eunhyuk agreed. “It makes you this sad?”
“Yes,” Donghae sobbed, holding Eunhyuk tightly.
Eunhyuk kissed his neck just below his ear. “If you died, I would cry this much,” he whispered so quietly that Donghae almost couldn't hear what he had said.
I love you, Donghae thought, but couldn’t say it. He took a shuddering deep breath, feeling his fear and shock melt away. His tears abated, listening to Eunhyuk’s heart beating next to his own; he didn’t ever want to hear it stop.
“I’m sorry,” Eunhyuk said softly in his ear.
"I feel like it's my fault," he said. "Because of what happened earlier."
Donghae half opened his eyes. How was it his fault? It was raining, and it wasn't like it was the only time he'd ever scared him. He'd gotten into a car crash before and very narrowly escaped serious injury. It was just chance that he'd have a dream like that now.
“It’s okay,” he whispered, burying his face in Eunhyuk’s shoulder.
“I said it's okay! It wasn't your fault," he said. "You're fine, so it's fine."
If Eunhyuk had anything else to say, he didn't say it. Now wasn't the time to protest further. “What happened in your dream?”
“You did something really stupid,” Donghae said. They both laughed. “But it was my fault...I told you to take some pain killers and you...you overdosed.” He bit his lip.
“As if I would do that,” Eunhyuk said, clicking his tongue.
“I know,” Donghae said softly. “You never would.”
“I never would,” Eunhyuk said, equally as soft. “Can we go to sleep again, now?"
“Nn,” Donghae said, closing his eyes. He breathed deeply and was soon asleep, relief flooding through his body having been comforted by Eunhyuk.
When Donghae woke up again, it was barely morning, just late enough to illuminate Eunhyuk’s room with a flat gray light. His throat felt dry, and his eyes felt puffy and swollen from crying.
He reluctantly slipped out of Eunhyuk’s arms and stood up. He turned and covered Eunhyuk with the blanket, snugly tucking it in. He smiled. Eunhyuk looked unbelievably peaceful when he slept. He was safe.
He left Eunhyuk’s room and inaudibly walked towards the kitchen. He passed through the living room where they had hung out earlier and stopped. Lying on the couch next to the wall was Yesung, wrapped in a blanket with his head on what looked like the pillow from his bed.
Donghae blinked. Why was he out here? He had his own room that he shared with Ryeowook…
He remembered earlier how they had been communicating - or rather, not communicating. Had they fought?
How immature, Donghae thought and walked past him to get a glass of water. He looked out the window as he drank. The sun was just beginning to show itself, the light seeping through the gaps between the city's buildings. He looked at the clock. It was almost a quarter past seven.
He set the glass down in the sink and walked back into the living room, yawning. He glanced at Yesung, stretching his arms over his head. It wasn’t that warm in the dorm, since it was already November. He’d have to go back to his room sometime.
He returned to Eunhyuk’s room and got back into bed. Yesung was an idiot. Who’d pick a couch over a warm bed? Their comforters were so soft and thick. He pulled it up so that it was almost covering his head and snuggled in next to Eunhyuk again. Sleep.
They awoke to the sound of Sungmin’s laughter.
“Yah, Donghae…” Sungmin poked Donghae’s shoulder. “Didn’t I see you leave yesterday?”
Donghae groggily turned his head to look at Sungmin as Eunhyuk pulled the comforter over his face, trying to block out the noise.
“Hyung,” Donghae moaned, rolling over.
“Ahjumma made breakfast,” Sungmin said, prodding them. “Get up, get up!”
“Sleep,” Donghae moaned, curling into a ball.
“No,” Sungmin said, climbing onto the bed. “Food! It’s nine!”
“Is there food for me?” Donghae opened one eye. Sungmin pinched his cheeks and pulled them apart, smiling.
“Yeah,” he said, molding his face as if it were a piece of sculpting dough. “Get uuuuup.”
Donghae pushed him off and rolled out of bed. He yawned and patted the lump that was Eunhyuk. “C’mon, Hyukjae…”
Eunhyuk reluctantly crawled out of bed and onto the floor, rubbing his eyes sleepily.
“Guess who snuck back in?” Sungmin said as they walked out. Kangin looked up, spotted Donghae, and laughed, covering his mouth. He had already started to eat.
“Good morning,” Donghae yawned and sat down at the table, leaning his forehead on it.
“What happened?” Ryeowook asked.
Donghae raised his head up just enough to look at Ryeowook, who looked even sleepier than he did. Eunhyuk sat down next to Sungmin and immediately shut his eyes, resting his head on his elbows. “I had a nightmare, that’s all.”
Sungmin ladled some soup into a bowl for Donghae and passed it to him. “Thanks,” Donghae said, forcing himself to sit upright.
No one asked too many more questions about why Donghae was there; by now, they were used to members sleeping over in different dorms, and sleeping together wasn't a big deal.
Donghae thanked them for breakfast and went to retrieve his key from Eunhyuk’s room. Eunhyuk got up and followed him.
“You’ll be okay now?”
“I’ll be fine,” Donghae said, leaning against the wall and tossing the key from hand to hand. “Say…”
Eunhyuk sat down on his bed and tossed back his hair. “What’s up?”
Donghae shut the door quietly and frowned, running a hand through his hair. “Is something up with Yesung and Ryeowook?”
“Ah...” Eunhyuk nodded slowly. “Yeah...”
“I got up a little earlier to get a drink and Yesung was sleeping on the couch. Don’t they share a room? Ryeowook doesn't snore or anything...”
“Donghae,” Eunhyuk said, pensively touching his fingertips together under his chin. “Was Ryeowook really close with Henry?”
Donghae blinked. “With Henry?” He sat down on the edge of Eunhyuk’s bed. “Yeah...they seemed like really good friends.”
“When I got back yesterday, before we went out, it seemed like they’d had a fight and Yesung kept asking him about Henry.”
Eunhyuk shrugged. “Ryeowook wouldn’t answer any of his questions. He just ignored him and then told him to mind his own business before I left.”
“Why would Yesung care?”
“I don’t know,” Eunhyuk shook his head. “It seemed like Ryeowook was trying really hard to be friends with him last night, though, didn’t it?”
Donghae nodded and laid back on the bed, covering his eyes with his hands. “Today is Kiss the Radio, isn’t it?”
“Aiyo...I miss it.”
“Aiyo,” Eunhyuk parroted him. “Do you want to come?”
Donghae smiled and propped himself up on his elbows. “Can I?”
“Why not? I don’t think you can talk or anything, but you can sit in and have fun. You haven’t seen the staff in forever.”
“Yeah! I’ll go. I want to go.”
Eunhyuk smiled. “Okay.”
Donghae stretched. “I want to give you guys presents today, so…I think I’ll go back now…”
Eunhyuk nodded. “I guess I’ll see you later, then.”
“Yeah…,” he said softly. “Thanks."
Eunhyuk just looked at him. There wasn’t anything to say. He stood up and pulled Donghae to his feet. Donghae met his eyes briefly and then walked out, feeling a subdued happiness fill his chest.
He tossed a casual, brief goodbye to the rest of them and said he’d be back with gifts, which was met with, unsurprisingly, joy.
Ryeowook followed him to the door, saying that he’d lock it after him. “Hyung…” he said quietly as Donghae opened the door. Halfway through, Donghae looked back, a question in his eyes. There were dark circles under his eyes and his face looked tense and shadowed. He looked like he’d hardly slept at all.
“Can I talk to you later?”
Donghae looked at him, mildly surprised. “Of course.” Why? He couldn't have heard what they had been talking about. Ryeowook wasn't the type to listen at doors.
Ryeowook’s face brightened into a smile. “Later,” he said. Donghae nodded and left, a crease in his brow. Ryeowook was sensitive, and he was - no, used to be - the youngest of them. He hoped that whatever it was, it could be solved easily and quickly.
He walked up the stairs, his mind wandering back to Eunhyuk. He exhaled, filling his cheeks with air, and came to sudden realization as he stood in front of his dorm’s door.
He’d forgotten the keys to his own dorm in his haste. He smacked his forehead and rang the doorbell.
After a minute, Shindong’s voice came through the speaker. “Ah, Donghae?” he laughed.
“Aigoo, I thought you wouldn’t come back. You don’t want to see me so much that you left before light, is that it?” he teased.
“I want to see you!”
“Are you sure you weren’t ringing the bell so you could ask another member if I was here or not? Showed you, though, I’ve come to answer it myself.”
“I forgot my keys,” Donghae laughed. “Truly, I want to see you! I asked Eeteuk-hyung about you last night. Ask him! He’ll tell you.”
“Truly? I suppose I can let you in, then.”
“Thank you!” he said as Shindong unlocked and opened the door. He was still in his pajamas. He briefly hugged Donghae and asked if he was well and if he’d brought any food back from the first dorm.
“No, the ahjumma brought us both food today. We got the same thing.”
“Ah, really?” They walked in together. “Ryeowook often cooks, doesn’t he?”
“Everyone down there does,” Donghae said, setting the key back down in its proper place. “They took all of the cooking talent and funneled it into that dorm.”
Shindong laughed. Donghae stretched and walked into the living room. Hangeng was washing the dishes in the sink.
“Morning, Hankyung-hyung,” Donghae said, getting himself a glass of milk. “Where’s Eeteuk-hyung?”
Shindong answered for Hangeng as Hangeng said good morning to Donghae. “He’s in our room.”
Donghae walked to his room, milk in hand, and picked up the present he’d gotten for Eeteuk - an Angel Teuk figurine that they sold exclusively in China. He went to Eeteuk’s room and tapped on the door with his foot. “Hyung!”
Eeteuk opened the door. “What’s u- what is that?” he looked at the figure that Donghae held up in his hand.
“Is that for me?” he beamed at Donghae, who nodded, smiling.
He took it with both hands and hugged Donghae, who quickly held up his milk and tried not to spill it. “You’re so good to your hyung,” Eeteuk crowed, patting Donghae’s head. “It’s so cuuuuuuute.”
Donghae laughed. “Hyung, I have a request.”
Eeteuk sniffed and put his gift on top of his dresser. “What?”
“Can I come to Kiss the Radio today? Hyukjae invited me.”
“Sure, why not? We’ll leave at about nine.”
“Great,” Donghae smiled. “Thanks.”
Eeteuk nodded. “What are you doing until then? You don’t have a schedule for a while, right?”
“Yeah, they’re giving us a break since we just got back.”
“I guess,” Donghae said. “Honestly, I want to start work again soon. It’s fall break now, too, so I don't really have anything..."
Eeteuk nodded. “But you have other things to be thinking about right now, don’t you?”
“Like what?” Donghae blinked.
Eeteuk smiled. “Maybe something, maybe nothing. Anyway, enjoy your vacation time while it lasts. We’ll be busy soon.”
“Okay…” Donghae waved a hand and sat down on the couch, broodingly drinking his milk. He looked at the window and realized with a shudder that it was the same window as in his dream. But this was in the real world. There was no fentanyl in the bathroom, no Eunhyuk here to poison himself. And though the sun was shining today after all of the rain, it wasn’t the same sparkling light that he had seen inside of the dream.
He smiled. Dreams were dreams. However clumsy Eunhyuk might be, he would never overdose. He closed his eyes, resting the glass on his stomach. The horror and sorrow he’d felt earlier had been turned into comfort and happiness by Eunhyuk. Like a healing medication, he thought, amused by his own comparison.
He pulled himself up off of the couch and drank the last of the milk. He took a shower, since he wouldn’t want to after Kiss the Radio was over, and dressed and styled his hair carefully. If he was going to go out then he needed to look like the idol he was. Fans, he thought fondly.
Gathering the gifts he'd bought for Heechul and Shindong, he walked back to Shindong and Eeteuk’s room. “Shindong,” he knocked on the open door.
Shindong looked up. “I have presents for you,” Donghae said, holding up a bag.
“Ah, I think I really believe you now, Donghae,” he laughed. Donghae smiled and handed Shindong the bag. Eeteuk smiled at Donghae and Donghae left casually, smiling. As he headed towards Heechul’s room he heard Shindong call a thank you after him. He’d bought Shindong sundry Chinese delicacies.
He knocked on Heechul’s door. “Hyung! Gifts!”
The door flew open and Heechul pulled Donghae in, smothering him with pretty words. Donghae laughed and allowed himself be pulled in, soaking up the attention.
“What’s my gift?” Heechul said, stroking his head.
“Me,” Donghae laughed. Heechul pulled back and looked at Donghae, and it was as if the temperature in the room dropped by ten degrees.
“I’m joking, hyung!” Donghae said, holding up a necklace shaped like a many-petaled flower. It hung from a gold-plated chain and the center was accented with pink crystals.
“Donghae,” Heechul moaned, taking it and looking at it lovingly. “Thank you.” He kissed Donghae’s forehead. Donghae laughed and wiped his forehead with his sleeve.
Heechul put the necklace on and looked in the mirror. “It’s pretty, isn’t it?”
“It’s very pretty on you, hyung.”
Donghae chatted with him for a few minutes and then piled the rest of the gifts - for the people downstairs - into a few bags and left, saying goodbye as he walked out the door. Sungmin let him in downstairs and hovered excitedly around him as he walked inside and put the bags down. He distributed the gifts to them, which were happily received - clothes, plushies, pens, bubblegum - stuff that Donghae thought they would use and enjoy.
“He’s in his room,” Sungmin said.
Donghae picked up one of the bags and entered Eunhyuk’s room, knocking as he did so. He was curled up on his bed, an open book on his pillow. He was sleeping. Honestly, Donghae thought. He sat down next to him, set the bag down, and brushed Eunhyuk’s hair out of his eyes.
He pulled out his gift for Eunhyuk - a necklace with a gold Chinese character hanging from it - and held it a few inches from Eunhyuk’s face. He lightly shook him and Eunhyuk blearily opened his eyes.
He blinked sleepily and his eyes found the necklace hanging in front of him. He looked past it at Donghae, who smiled. For me? he mouthed. Donghae nodded.
Eunhyuk sat up and rubbed his eyes as Donghae opened the clasp and fastened it around his neck. “You like it?”
“I like it,” Eunhyuk said, looking down at Donghae’s hands.
“It means ‘happiness,’” he said, holding it up in his palm for a few seconds before lowering it and letting it drop against Eunhyuk’s chest. “I want you to be happy."
Eunhyuk smiled a small smile, and he almost looked embarrassed. But pleased. "Thank you," he said.
Donghae smiled, flushing with pleasure. He reached down and took out his other present - a pair of fish patterned socks. He smothered a laugh and handed them to Eunhyuk, who laughed when he saw them.
“Fishie,” he said, laughing.
Donghae defended himself by saying that they were cute and leaned against the wall, hugging one of Eunhyuk’s stuffed animals. “Eeteuk said I can come to Kiss the Radio, too.”
“Did you really think he wouldn't let you?” Eunhyuk opened the socks and removed the metal staples holding them together.
“No, I guess not, huh?”
“You’re one of us down there, you know? ” he said, pulling on the socks. He looked at them on his feet and they both laughed.
“See, aren’t they cute?”
“Really, thank you,” Eunhyuk smiled.
“You’re welcome,” Donghae smiled. “Let’s go play games.”
“Nn!” They got up and joined the others around the television. They passed a few hours like that, talking together and playing games. Eeteuk, Donghae thought, I am enjoying my vacation.
Close to seven thirty, Eeteuk dropped by with Donghae’s jacket and a hat. He fondly said hello to the members that he didn’t see as often and tossed Donghae his clothing, disappearing into their manager’s room for a few minutes.
“You two,” Eeteuk said, reappearing and walking over to them. “Let’s go get something to eat before radio.”
“Food!” Donghae leapt up. “Let’s go!”
“Donghae is going to Kiss the Radio too?” Sungmin stuck out his lower lip, his arms dangling over the back of the couch.
“That’s right. He’s not a guest, he’s just tagging along because he misses his hyung,” Eeteuk said, waving a finger at Sungmin. Sungmin waved back, smiling cutely.
Eunhyuk put on a jacket and scarf as Donghae pulled on his hat and jacket. Eeteuk talked with Kangin and Sungmin until Manager-hyung came out of his room, pushing his glasses up his nose and sporting a long black coat. “Let’s go.”
Eunhyuk pulled on his shoes as he hopped over towards the door. Donghae turned back and waved. “Bye!”
They piled into the manager’s van, Donghae smiling happily. “Since it’s just us...” the manager said, “let’s go get something nice.”
“Bulgogi?” Eeteuk ventured, flipping his bangs out of his face.
“Sure, that’s fine.”
It didn't take them long to get to the restaurant, and their meal was delicious. They gorged themselves on barbecued meat and side dishes until it was time for them to leave for Kiss the Radio. It was a bit of a novelty to order food without fighting over the menu.
Back in the car again, Donghae rested his head on Eunhyuk’s shoulder. Eunhyuk threaded his fingers through Donghae’s and closed his eyes. Donghae saw Eeteuk look at them in the car’s rear view mirror and his heart beat quickly, embarrassment creeping into Donghae’s consciousness. No big deal, he thought at Eeteuk.
Donghae looked away. Whatever Eeteuk would think, it would be the best of them both. It didn’t matter to Donghae, anyway. As far as he was concerned, Eunhyuk was his best friend, like a brother. But why was he thinking about that at all? He closed his eyes and dozed in the dark on the way to the studio.
[Next Part] Chapter Four: Trigonometry and Bubble Tea